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Though his books and YouTube channel tend to focus on the affairs of the heart of millennial men and women looking for love in an increasingly complicated digital agethe year-old Brit says he likes giving dating and relationship advice simply because it appeals to everyone.
People get so grandiose in their mind about what they need to do to shake up their relationship. Or if they've already met someone special, how to make that relationship as good as it can be. So it gets suffocated.
I won. Hussey: People have to understand, and one of my good friends, Lookkng Perel, talks about this in her book, "Mating in Captivity"there is a big difference between love and desire. But no one form of communication is an evil.
So I don't think that urge to be seen changes. You probably had hobbies. Most people will never, ever do the extra 10 percent because they're happy to be average.
People in their relationships, they think, "I've got my person now. That's okay. It has to be lookking place where you completely kill your ego and come every day saying, "How can I be great for you? One day, my dad had tipped over the hamster wheel. And maybe the wheel being on its side wasn't the best thing ever, but it was still something to think about. In fact, Hussey believes the things we want most from our relationship remain the same from the first date to "I do" to binge watching Netflix on a boring Saturday night.
And when you think about it, early on in a relationship, everything is a gravitational pull towards being close. I looked at my dad and I said, "Why'd you do that? We're getting closer. I have to be getting to know you all the time.
I used to clean the cage and make it all neat and tidy. You can have someone in a year marriage, and they felt more understood by their partner ten years ago than they do today. Figure out a new way to show them appreciation or affection. You can shoot someone a message in their day saying, "I ,arried get you off my mind right now. It's all about those things that we did in the beginning, and working them into a relationship.
They're evolving. Or if you always maarried flowers, do something else. We sat down with the love guru to find out what he knows about keeping the spark alive — and how to reignite it. But people do. We're becoming one. In every relationship I'm ever in, I never want to be normal. You have a marriage that breaks down often, not because there's a lack of love, but because there's a lack of desire. Because when we feel seen, we feel accepted. Love is something where we're coming together.
Because it means you're taking for granted that this relationship is forever. They're not doing the extra 10 percent that would make their relationship great.
Hussey: Any time you're with your partner and you assume that you know everything about them is a dangerous point in the relationship. I'm more of a being looiing the phone person. Do something different. Or after they've broken up.
Ultimately, we extda to feel connected. Someone will break up with somebody, and after three months apart they suddenly get enough distance to see the space between them again, and to see them as who they are again, instead of just, "This is my person. Hussey: I don't think the idea of being seen changes in its importance. Our partners are growing. How could I be a little less predictable today? If I call you beautiful, but then today instead of saying beautiful, which I say all the time, I say, "You look hot today," just a change in language lookijg make someone go, "You never call me hot.
And that's not just true of an sspark relationship. The mistake is thinking that they're not.
It matters. I think it's always true. And when you close down a relationship so there's no more space, now desire can't breathe.
It doesn't have to be taking time away from your partner. The intensity is different. That's when people get complacent and comfortable.
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